Big City Dreams and Disillusions
by Dakota
Summary: M/M. AU. Maria moves to New York with dreams of a career in music. She meets Michael and her life takes an unexpected turn.
1. Big City Chapter 1

**Title: **Big City Dreams & Disillusions 

**Rating: **R

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Roswell, the show of the same name, or it's title characters. 

**Summary: ** Young and fresh out of high school, Maria journey's to New York with childhood long dreams of a career in music when her increasingly troubled home life gives her the courage to go after what she's always wanted. Rose coloured visions soon gray however, when she finds herself alone, virtually homeless and just another face in a long line of out of work musicians all chasing the same dream. Her desperate situation drops her in the lap of a stranger one day, and her life takes an unexpected turn.

* * *

The popcorn bounced from the ground to which it was thrown straight into the waiting and eager beaked mouths of the dozen or so pigeons swarming at the feet of the handsome wild haired, yet richly dressed stranger sitting next to her.   
  
From her end of the park bench Maria watched in agonized envy as the pigeons gobbled the salted and buttered treat up and resisted the temptation to get down on her hands and knees and fight them for it. She rung her hands with the effort, the uncontrolled movement of her fingers in her lap causing her black knee length skirt to dance against the tops of her shins.   
  
A sob almost escaped her lips as the stranger casually threw an extra large handful of the popped kernels to the birds. A subtle glance to her right revealed the butter stained bag held in his hands to be almost empty. _No!_ She bit her lip in restraint and glared at the birds hatefully. If he only knew how much more appreciated that popcorn would be in her mouth would he throw her some?   
  
Maria groaned inwardly when she realized even more pathetic than that thought was the fact that her hunger addled brain was actually considering asking him!  
  
Michael watched the girl sharing the green wood slatted park bench with him with growing curiosity, albeit from the corner of his eye, a half smoked cigarette hanging loosely from the corner of his mouth. She was so busy eyeing the popcorn in his hands that she hadn't even noticed his scrutinizing gaze.   
  
Not one to waste a golden opportunity, Michael had used the time wisely, his eyes now on their tenth sweep of her body, at least. It had been a whole two minutes since she'd joined him on the bench after all and it was either her or the pigeons. Not a hard choice to make in his mind. He also had a good hour before he had to be back, what better way to entertain himself in the time till then? This particular _bird_ was certainly proving entertaining. A lot more entertaining than the opera he had just quietly departed on the premise of a visit to the john.   
  
She was skinny. Too skinny for his taste he decided. Still, that didn't stop him from looking. Spiked black mules encased her tiny feet, red painted toenails peeking out the front of the obviously well worn and scuffed slip ons. He'd wager they were her only pair and when he finally managed to drag his eyes away from her shapely yet _too skinny_ calves, upwards to her knees, the tiny holes he could see in the loose hem of her black skirt that dangled there confirmed his suspicion.   
  
The hands that rested in her lap were slender and her nails revealed a penchant perhaps to nervous or worrisome biting, yet not nervous or worrisome enough to take away from the delicate overall look of her hands. Suffice it to say, no polish, if ever there were any, remained and her half moons were large and visible.   
  
He raised an eyebrow in part amusement, part wonderment as she continued to fidget, her fingers clutching and un-clutching on each other over and over. Was she imagining she held the very necks of those horrid pigeons taking the popcorn she so obviously wanted he wondered? With an inner chuckle he decided on a firm yes.   
  
The woman, or was it girl? He couldn't yet confirm either way as her profile had been his only, albeit brief, glimpse of her face thus far, for the large wide brimmed black hippy styled velvet hat she wore concealed her face and hair from his eyes, but she was damn near wraith like. Probably hadn't eaten a proper meal in a month he gathered and he couldn't help but briefly wonder what circumstances she had had to suffer that had placed her in such a poor position. _Briefly_, being the key word for he didn't truly care and would not attempt to seek the reason for her current situation out. It was just a passing thought.   
  
Michael took a drag on his cigarette as she continued to watch the pigeons fight over the kernels of corn hungrily, his narrowed eyes almost considered judgmental in their scrutiny of the one sharing his bench by those who passed by on their nightly stroll through the park.   
  
Yeah, he knew her type. The city in which they resided was full of girls such as she, all with their own sob stories to regale whomever may be willing to listen. He wasn't and would _not_ become one of those such listeners. Michael's personal philosophy on the subject was simple, you didn't like where you were in life, you found a way to make it better. He lived every day of his life by that very motto. Had done since the time he was finally old enough to escape the revolving door of the system. These days, he came and went as he pleased.

Michael focused his gaze back in on the starting point of his thought flow and shrugged slightly to himself. She was a break time distraction, nothing more and she would remain so until he grew bored or had to get back. Whichever came first. He wasn't bored, yet, but having a little fun wasn't out of the question.   
  
Smirking to himself, Michael threw his lit cigarette to the ground and stomped it out with the heel of his shoe, noticing as he did so that her head seemed to follow the movement, her hands finally stilling in her lap before they moved to grip the oversized purse at her side. Did she think he would steal it? Surely not, but again her actions give away her circumstances. He shook his head. _Amateur_. She was a walking target for pick-pockets and bag snatchers alike. The bag she gripped now no doubt contained all she owned.   
  
With deliberate slowness and smirk still in place he dipped his long fingers into the bag she found so entrancing and pulled a handful of the still warm popcorn out before raising it to his mouth. As he predicted her head followed the movement and he resisted the temptation to chuckle out loud. If it weren't so amusing he probably would have taken the time to think it mean of him.   
  
Stilling his raised hand just a few centimeters from his mouth Michael could now make out ivory skin that looked as smooth as porcelain, a petite nose and full red lips that he was sure were made for pouting, peeking out at him from beneath the wide brim of her ridiculously large hat. Though red from the attention of a stick of color or rather from too much attention from her own teeth was yet to be established.  
  
Breath left him unexpectedly and the popcorn he held so near his mouth was forgotten for the time being, hand frozen in the air as his eyes remained fixed on her lips, as they were at that very moment, indeed pouting. Having now parted he watched enthralled as the tip of her pink tongue darted out slowly to wet their rich ruby fullness, moistening them. Was she expecting to taste the imaginary salty remnants of the popcorn she wished had been there?  
  
Suddenly Michael felt the need to see more of her. Her eyes. The color. If they were anything like her mouth, they'd be something to behold. He had to wonder if her gaze would hold as much naiveté as he'd imagine it to and he found himself worrying that she would flitter off into the night as quickly as she had appeared at his side before he got the chance, this curious and strange wraith? The fact he cared, both baffled and annoyed him at the same time. He never allowed a woman to have such an effect, such control over him. Even the ones he fucked. Yet the strange behavior and only half unveiled features of this creature already had him enraptured.   
  
Lost in the thought Michael unconsciously popped some of the popcorn into his mouth finally, eyes still fixed on the unveiled features of the wraith like creature sitting no more than half a meter from him. This action prompted the strange girl-woman to finally lift her head completely to him, the large floppy brim of her hat swinging up and out of his way, as it were, previously obscuring his view of what he had a sudden and unexplainable desire to see.   
  
The moment was fleeting. He saw a flash of green comparable only to the sparkle of emeralds before a short gasp at being caught watching him was emitted from the lips that had distracted him so and she quickly lowered her eyes to the ground again. The spell broken for both. Hers for the hunger of the popcorn and his, for the hunger of her lips perhaps?  
  
Maria clutched her bag at her side as if a safety blanket and cringed to herself beneath the safety of her wide brimmed hat. _Oh God!_ How long had he been watching her? She must have been gawking at that popcorn like it was the greatest thing on earth! He must think her a desperate idiot and she felt tears try to escape her lids at the embarrassment.   
  
He obviously had money, a hard thing to miss when the polished black leather shoes, olive Armani-esque suit and crisp white shirt he wore spoke of no less than three zero's when it came to the price tag. The whole damn ensemble must have cost more than she'd ever managed to even save in her entire life. She looked down at her own outfit and baulked. She tugged at the ends of her mint green figure hugging light weight sweater self consciously, making sure her arms stayed firmly at her side to the elbow, lest he see the holes at the armpits. God, what must he think of her? She couldn't help but close her eyes on a sorrowful sigh and try to wish herself away.  
  
Pity and the looks of those that pitied were nothing new to Maria but the hurt they caused to rise in her chest never seemed to dull despite their frequency in her life these days. And she had had second thoughts about taking her seat beside this man but her feet and calves, aching from walking the streets all day would hear none of it and willed her to collapse into the first bench she came across. So here she was, ready to curl up and die of embarrassment because of it. It didn't help that the cause of her embarrassment was freaking gorgeous!   
  
Taking a deep breath as much for the courage as for the air he stole from her lungs Maria tried to decide on her next course of action. Since meeting his eyes, though short the moment was, she was now able to feel his penetrating chocolate brown gaze still fixed on her and quickly decided her best course of action would be to get up and walk away subtly, as if nothing had happened. Maybe she could still walk away with a tiny tendril of dignity intact.   
  
Mentally ordering her legs to do so without stumbling, Maria attempted to do just that when a gruff voice gave her cause to pause and her limbs refused to move. She quite literally, froze, and if he was listening closely enough he would have heard her whispered curse.   
  
"Hey, what's the matter with you?" Michael asked abruptly, noticing her motion to leave, which for some reason, he wasn't willing to let happen yet. He was pretending to be annoyed with her earlier close attention of him, though he was truly annoyed with himself for allowing himself to be distracted by a woman in such a way as to forget all else. He hardened his eyes and drew his brow together in a frown as he waited, perhaps hoped for a response. Either way, he was preparing himself for _those_ eyes again.


	2. Big City Chapter 2

**BIG CITY DREAMS AND DISILLUSIONS**

Maria nervously turned her head towards the stranger now addressing her with the angry voice, eyes wide as she simultaneously scooted her bottom across the bench, until she was pressed against the arm rest to her left and as far away from him as possible. She had no idea what to expect. She thought for a moment his eyes could be kind should he let them but his tone of voice at that point in time told her otherwise and she would not let herself be fooled by ones looks which at best, could prove deceiving.   
  
Only being in this town for a few months Maria was still extremely weary of the people that walked it's streets. She couldn't afford to get into trouble like this and her fear filled mind sent her thoughts to the ridiculous. Could he have her arrested for staring at his popcorn? For even thinking of stealing it? Rich people could make anything happen should they so desire it to could they not? Her inner turmoil continued and she clutched at her bag, ready to run when her legs saw fit to work for her again.   
  
The naiveté of the strange girl's thoughts probably would have made Michael laugh could he read minds. As it were, he saw her frightened eyes and instant retraction from him at his question only and found himself unable to let this strange girl leave being so scared of him. In the same instant it didn't fail to cross his mind that she'd done it again. She'd made him care. And for the second time in as many minutes no less. _God damn it, what was going on here?_  
  
He rubbed the back of his neck in frustration. It had to be the big brother coming out in him as it did with Isabel he decided. This wisp of a girl definitely screamed of protection in need. He was just reacting to that on natural instinct he convinced himself with an uncaring shrug of his shoulders. Still, the thought managed to irk him to no end and he couldn't hide that displeasure from his voice when next he spoke.   
  
Or when he tried to next speak, for the moment he met her gaze full on for the first time, her eyes, now no doubt the emeralds he first thought them to be and made all the more larger for the current thinness of her face pinned him to the spot for a moment that upon later reflection, would seem to have been much longer than the split second it truly was. Her move to leave pulled him quickly from the trance she'd induced. His body responded without thinking and he found himself now physically stopping her, unable or unwilling to let her leave him just yet.   
  
Maria had finally managed to talk her legs into moving as she watched the wild haired stranger puzzle over something only his mind was privy to so she couldn't help but let out a small cry of surprise when she had barely raised her buttocks from the seat an inch before he was quickly sliding down the bench towards her.   
  
There was no time to react quick enough as the long firm length of his thigh slammed into hers in his haste to stop her from fleeing, his right arm just as fast in reaching across her front and moving to grip the arm rest she was squashed up against, keeping her trapped in the same manner as a safety bar in a roller coaster carriage. The warmth and dark scent of his body, pressed so close to her own overwhelmed her senses unexpectedly and shockingly for a moment and when she finally found enough composure to meet his eyes, the expression staring back at her took her off guard, lessened her fear, and the demand to find out what the hell he thought he was doing caught in her throat. He seemed to be as surprised at his actions as she, and if anything she realized, he looked put out by it.   
  
Michael cleared his throat finally, noticing the blush starting to color his captive's cheeks. _His captive?_ What the hell was he doing? Whatever it was, his body refused to let the reason go. "C'mon, spill it." He ordered, chucking his chin at her and trying to gain some semblance of control back in the situation. "I've been watching you ever since you sat down. Don't think I haven't noticed those looks. What are you? Some sort of thief?" It was the furthest thing from his mind but you never could tell these days. This innocent wide eyed girl routine was a popular act in this City. Isabel used to play it all the time when the need called for it. She'd practice on him before going in for the kill on some unsuspecting fool who didn't need the money half as much as they did and if he didn't know her so well he'd eat it up without hesitation. She was good, real good.   
  
Maria shook her head frantically, tears of fear starting to bead in the corners of her eyes. She knew it, he was going to get her into trouble with the police. "Please…" She began pleadingly. Placing her hands on his arm hesitantly she tried to push him away.   
  
Michael held firm. "What's the rush?"  
  
"Please, let me go…or I'll-"  
  
"Or you'll what?" He challenged.   
  
Maria sighed. She didn't know what. Scream for help? She felt no real menace from this man so what good would it do to draw attention to themselves? Besides, he was obviously rich, probably influential and she'd more than likely end up being the one on the receiving end of the law anyway. They'd find out she didn't have a place to stay and probably call her mother. _God no!_ She'd die before she let that happen.   
  
Michael frowned as she took her hands from his arm and seemed to resign herself to whatever it is she thought was going to happen. For some reason he didn't like seeing her like that, the fleeting spark of anger he saw enter her eyes when he stopped her from leaving told him it wasn't who she was, not normally anyway, but he had a feeling it was something she was used to doing a lot of lately. His eyes narrowed thoughtfully and a little worriedly as he had to wonder to what extent exactly. He took his arm away, but didn't move away from her on the bench. "Well?" He prompted when she remained silent. "This a regular routine of yours or what? Stare at a man's food long enough in hopes he'll feel sorry for you and give you a hand out? Or maybe you've got someone waiting around the corner ready to jump me?" He didn't believe the latter for a second but it got the desired reaction. She wasn't scared of him anymore.   
  
"What?! No! God!" Maria looked at him, completely offended, and more than a little angry when he didn't even have the decency to look apologetic for accusing her of such a thing. He just raised his eyebrows in askance, as if owed further explanation and Maria had to look away before she found herself guilty of thumping a total stranger. "I was…just a little hungry." She said, looking at her hands and feeling like a complete idiot. "God, this is so embarrassing." She mumbled, burying her face in her hands. If she wasn't convinced before, she was now. This was shaping up to be one of the worst days of her life. "Look," she finally said, taking a breath and wanting to end this painful experience as quickly as possible, "I didn't mean to stare and I'm-"  
  
"A _little_ hungry?" Michael smirked, cutting her off mid sentence, his tone deliberately unconvinced as he ignored the beginnings of what he suspected to be an apology. That would mean this would be over way too soon and apart from still having some time to kill, he didn't want that yet. This strange girl, beautifully flushed with embarrassment and mumbling away to herself had his attention, if only for the moment.   
  
Maria took her hands away from her face to glare at him. _What the hell was his problem?_ "Excuse me?"  
  
"Two more seconds and I can guarantee those pigeons would have been dodging those dangerous looking spiked heels you got there like bullets."  
  
He obviously wanted one of those dangerous looking spikes embedded in his foot. "You know, I'm trying to apologize here. If you're not interested, then by all means just let me know and I'll gladly spare us both the agony."   
  
"Oh, I didn't say I wasn't interested."   
  
Maria drew in a breath, insulted and her mouth fell open when he quite literally laughed with amusement at her reaction. She'd thought him a lot of things since they'd begun this little tête-à-tête, arrogant bastard, torment, rude jerk, but creep wasn't one of them. Until now. She flung her bag strap over her shoulder and made to leave. "Yeah well, you're out of luck buddy because I don't give out those kinds of apologies."   
  
Michael's hand reached out to grab her wrist unconsciously, and he did his best to stifle his amusement, and if he were being honest with himself, pleasure at her feistiness. "Hey, will you stop?" She spun around to glare at him and he wondered if she knew how beautiful she looked when she was mad, all innocence and vulnerability lost to be replaced with passion and fire. Something to behold even at it's present low burn. A true chameleon. His eyes swept over her body again with interest. Still too skinny, but none the less he found himself tempted to find out just how many more shades of color he could get her to show him.   
  
Maria felt her cheeks flood with color as his eyes literally drank her in to their now dark depths, studying her and she shifted uncomfortably, feeling like every tiny hole in her sweater or loose thread in her skirt was magnified by a thousand. "What? What are you staring at?" She asked defensively, tugging on her skirt with her free hand when he still wouldn't release the other.  
  
Another one of those comments she seemed to love perched at Michael's lips, just waiting to rile her up even further, that was until he found her eyes again, noticed her discomfiture and he realized where the defensiveness was coming from. She was embarrassed, not from the way he was looking at her, but from what he would _see_ when he looked at her. He frowned at her reaction. He'd figured her situation out on first glance. It was no great departure for him, so for a moment he puzzled over why she would think him, of all people, would look down on her for being less than well off. Then it dawned on him. He looked down at himself briefly. It was the suit. _Dammit!_ She'd actually made him forget he was playing the role of the rich playboy tonight. _How the hell did that happen?_   
  
Michael shook his head, clearing his throat. "Nothing." He muttered, trying to ease her embarrassment and forget the fact that she'd distracted him to such an extent. "I didn't mean it like that okay." Well maybe he did, but it was just to get a reaction out of her, he told himself.   
  
Maria looked down at his hand still wrapped around her wrist then back up to his eyes, trying to ignore the warmth emanating from him but unable to deny that soft look she'd seen earlier return to his gaze. She realized his touch felt gentle to her and almost…almost protective, when she knew it should have felt restrictive and frightening. "Then why did you say it?" She asked, her glare softening to a degree, but her posture still remaining defensive and stiff.   
  
Michael ignored the question and smiled, seeing a crack in her armor and working at it. "You always this God damn touchy?"   
  
"You always such a rude jerk to people you don't even know?" She fired back, forgetting her earlier fear that this man and his money were capable of throwing her in jail if she so much as sneezed on him.   
  
Michael smirked and stood up, his hand still holding her wrist and the fact that she hadn't tried to pull away again not lost on him. He moved in close and looked down at her, watching her nervous intake of breath and fluttering eyelids. "You really hungry then huh?"  
  
Maria nodded softly and lowered her eyes, his close proximity almost causing her to bump her forehead into his chest. "I haven't eaten in two days."  
  
Michael frowned, reaching up to tip her chin up to meet his eyes. "Two days?" Maria just nodded. "Why?"  
  
"I don't have any money." She said simply.   
  
"You don't need money to eat." Michael frowned. He couldn't guess how long she'd been on the streets, but it couldn't have been long. She knew nothing of the life and again, he was forced to wonder how she'd gotten herself into this position to begin with. Whatever the reason, this girl was not going to make it on her own and yes, he was annoyed that he cared.   
  
"Says you."   
  
Michael looked into her eyes for a long moment, trying in vain to keep his focus away from the pout those two words had formed on her full lips before making a decision he was sure he was going to regret. He turned and started walking, pulling her with him before he started thinking rationally and changed his mind. "C'mon."  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
"We're eating."  
  
Maria felt a surge of sudden panic rise in her stomach like a cage of butterflies come to life and she resisted against his pull lightly. She didn't really know this man, so what was she doing letting him pull her off somewhere? "Wait!"   
  
Michael turned confused and slightly annoyed eyes on her, sensing that fear of him in her again and not liking it. He knew he was being unreasonable, she had every right to be weary, in fact, he knew he'd be more worried if she wasn't, but it still got to him, whether he wanted to admit it or not. "You wanna eat or not?"  
  
"How do I…how do I know I can trust you?"  
  
"You can't," Michael said honestly, "but I can promise I won't hurt you. I just wanna take you out for something to eat. It's your decision from then on." He watched her bite her lip, large green eyes torn for a moment before he felt her small hand tighten around his fingers.   
  
Maria smiled at him. "I trust you." She didn't know why, but she just had the strongest feeling that she would be safe with him, protected and not harmed. It was the first time she'd ever felt that, with anybody. Yet she did, with this complete stranger. He looked at her intently for a moment and she saw a brief wave of surprise at her words pass over his eyes, before being replaced by a slight frown of puzzlement, as if he were trying to figure her out. This time though, she didn't look away or feel the need to try and hide herself from him. He seemed to notice and she matched his smile before he shook his head good naturedly and tugged her closer to him.   
  
"C'mon, let's eat." Michael glanced at his watch discreetly as he started walking again. He still had some time to burn. He would feed her, he decided, make sure she had somewhere to go for the night, then send her on her way with enough time to make it back to his previous engagement before the show let out. It was the least he could do to make amends for tormenting her earlier, he told himself.   
  
Maria moaned softly in delight as she hurried to keep up with his large brisk strides. "You have no idea how good those two words sound to me right now."  
  
_Oh, I have a pretty good idea._ "I'll bet." Was all he voiced.


End file.
